LET’S TRASH SHYNESS

2018

“People won’t like me because I’m too . . .  ,

I don’t know how to overcome shyness.

People hate me because I lack confidence.”

Don’t worry this article will make you get rid of these thoughts, while fashioning you into a confident indivisual.

 

Well,  what exactly is shyness?

It is a multifaceted condition which has actually a lot of variations . . .  what what what did you say?

Let’s trash fanciness.

Being shy is that uncomfortable feeling which consumes your soul and body in any situation. You will have social difficulties because you are worried that how will you face people. There is a scale of shyness.

It may be the case that you are slightly shy. You appear to be charming in front of people but sometimes it is very severe.

A case where you are not even properly able to present yourself. Want to know why? Well what should I tell you and what should I not.

There are several ways which contributed to your behavior and it is perfectly normal.

Yes, it is normal to behave in that way but . . . Yeah here comes the “but” part. . . such condition will always hinder in your way of realizing your actual worth.

You need to understand that shyness is not your problem.

But a greater problem lies within you which results in shyness that is what you need to eradicate.

Signs you have been growing up shy ?

Let’s see the basic root which is hollowing you from within and making you so anxious.

First of all, you have to see or better say CONFIRM that you are not confident:

You love the idea of avoiding people

You are least interested in meeting new people

Your brain will signal The Haunting thoughts if you will have to work alone in a single room and then mingle

Intimidation can easily occupy you.  When? Well, if by any chance you have to interact with people of higher authority.

Didn’t get what I mean? For instance:

You need your professor to reconsider your grade. Only the thought of that meeting will terrify your soul.

Hesitation befriends you if by any chance you have to interact with someone you want to impress.

Fear of being watched or fear of being judged

“Hey hello, can you just click our picture?” Admit and say “I have no confidence” if by any chance you get asked by this sort of question at a wedding.

Lack of self-confidence will want the earth to swallow you alive.

That feeling of being put on the spot makes you feel like puking.

You will never try risking flashy clothes. Just because that will grab the attention of several eyes

Flopped around a table in a family gathering, someone asks you about any incident. And then you are forced to share that story which lacks confidence . . .

You will want to dive straight into your blanket. But before that, you will want to strangle that very person Till death.

What more?

‘Can you help me in shifting me next week?’ you politely nod in acceptance.  Whereas your inner soul is yelling at you to overcome shyness.

It is reminding you that you have tons and tons of work this weekend how can you say yes. That is simply being assertive. You don’t feel yourself.

Rather than confronting someone you will laugh away if someone teases you

Tring tring . . . Yes, your phone rings. Again you lost confidence. It is an unknown number you will be like what  I should do. Oh my God, who is that behind the phone. Your soul will divorce your body if you will have to talk over the phone or leave any voicemail.

You are surrounded by a group of friends but you are tongue-tied. Yes, you have not added a single you know why?

Let’s admit with a nod. A fear of being judged.  

An inner voice is tearing you apart, “why am I not confident” or “what if someone doesn’t like your comment. “

And guess what? You don’t want to take a risk. Be yourself is all that you can do.

You own a prevailing sentiment of an uneasy discontent, inner insecurity, low self esteem and fear of oneself.

Some people are Very well aware of their low self esteem but they are afraid to acknowledge it.

You don’t know how to be yourself and try too hard so people actually like you.

Sometimes, you began to seem like way too outgoing in an attempt to compensate that lack of confidence.

Fear overtakes you that your self image might surface anytime.

Not caring about the idea, “respect yourself”. You show that you fear rejection. Busy in protesting 24/7, you adorn a needy behavior.

Yes, the text messages of ‘you there’ are also one of the signs of needy behavior.

And?

Crippling anxiety makes you hypersensitive. An idea clings to you that only hostility prevails around you everywhere.

You don’t believe in self value thus it is so easy for you to second guess the meaning of someone’s casual comment

Immediate symptoms of losing confidence:

Do you want to know the immediate symptoms which burst in such so anxious situations?

  • Lost confidence will make  your heart skip a beat
  • Perspiration will roll off
  • A blush will toss across your face
  • A feeling of nausea will strike you up
  • Lacking confidence will make you feel a pit down your stomach as muscle twitches
  • Nervousness around people will make your swallowing feel like intense one
  • Well, you will feel butterflies in your stomach, dancing around.

Those were just a few signs. They may touch your existence during certain social situations! Don’t be like I hate myself how do I change.

Let me remind you that it is completely normal to feel shy insecure or socially anxious. But you will not agree more that it is not at all helpful process or a fun-filled condition to be in.

There are certain emotions that can trouble you more than the other emotions. So simply admit that “YES” shyness is driving you crazy.

So let’s together hush this sentiment and learn how to overcome shyness. But before that, we need to sink in a little deeper and strangle the real cause of our shyness.

Let’s go easy on yourselves but hard on these factors:

You may be shy because of your :

    • Biological system: You are hypersensitive as your arousal system is designed that way.
    • Personality traits: Your temperament is of being less social.
    • Environmental conditions: Your family has always discouraged you or compared you with others . . . causing self dislike.
    • Past traumatic experiences: You might have been bullied in the past. Thus you say I don’t like my personality.
    • Sudden shift of life : Major job change/competition or other family responsibilities.
    • Different life challenges : What if I hate myself for being victimized, rejected or teased in many ways. Scan this article if you ever questioned why I hate myself.

How to deal with social anxiety?

Now we can’t just let shyness to dance around. Instead, we have to treat it by taking a proper step and see how to work on social anxiety.

 But before taking any step on how to overcome shyness you need to train your brain. Oh wow, that rhymes!

Listen to the voice inside your head which is screaming that you may not be fully ready for a change of overcoming social anxiety: step by step yet.

There is hundred percent chance that your heart is holding grudge against the idea of any change.

Remember that any motivational speech can make your spring out from your own ability. It can wash away all your fears and position you as a confident and powerful individual.

But remember that, it will be just the stab of dismay.

Yes, it will for sure get you super hyped for a day or two, gifting you a feeling of a changed individual but then . . .  Your step will sink back to your old self. How to actually overcome this problem?

By setting a goal.  a sense of urgency of overcoming social awkwardness. A proper routine of training in overcoming shyness.

Hating oneself won’t help. Your every muscle needs training, so does your mind. And that training should not be of one day or two.

You need to at least give a month time to finish off that horrible sense of insecurity. . .

And that very helpless anger that simmers inside you every time you shy away from your situation. Deep inside your head, you need to get interested in your own self while being comfortable with yourself.

Bear in mind. . . 

By following just a few steps you can say no to shyness forever. No, I won’t say this. Well, why? Because I hate to claim such things . . .  until someone actually with the utmost dedication of heart surrenders.

There is not just a  one technique that could eradicate your shyness forever. But with patience worthy of admiration.

With sincere efforts of practical steps, you can surely say bye bye to low-key life. And overcome shyness.

Journey of how to regain confidence

Once you get started then no one in the journey can actually make you trace back to your old self.

All I’m asking you is to break your goals into manageable chunks. You will experience little hiccups in the process.

But they will not discourage you in any way because you have already begun your journey with this blog post.

Bear in mind that I will not give you generic solutions like overcome avoidance and do this and do that . . .

I won’t say acknowledge your goals, be patient, be calm and blah blah blah. Instead, I will guide you practically.

Your first step is to make a YouTube channel. Chill chill chill!

I’m not asking you to start v-logging. I am asking you to make a channel for yourself. You have to make videos of yourself in progress every day and upload it on YouTube. There is a very easy way with which you can set the settings of a YouTube channel to private.

Those videos will be just for you. The best part is that you can share it with the only the one who will encourage your progress.

Be it your family member or any friend. You can surely COUNT ME in but that’s completely your decision.

Not comfortable with the idea of a YouTube channel? Then just upload the video on your Google Drive.

Your first video must be titled as day 1 and then so on.

I have discussed a lot about video now what will you actually shoot?

You will shoot: How bicycles littered the road, stones took up the end walls, and flowers introduced colors everywhere.

Kidding!

Instead, you will shoot the milestones mentioned below:

 

 

How to brainwash yourself : Let go of past

Now every time you try to experience a different version of yourself that

Haunting reflection of past drains your brain. Well, we all have done something stupid in our past for which we are guilty of. And that is completely alright.

But hanging to that mistake is not alright. Because that will not let you move on and past will hug to you where ever you go.

This will diminish your capacity to realize the importance of self love and high self-esteem.

You need to realize that without lifting the weight of extreme self hatred. . . you will not be able to become a confident individual who lives the life to fullest.

So you have to make a list of all those situations which made you less confident . . . and refrained you from positive self regard.

It can be any specific social situation where you struggled with strong confident you.

Write down all the thoughts which you experienced and the causes of self hatred.

Now fold that paper, take your lighter, Burn It Up and flush it into your washroom. Don’t forget to make the video in the process.

Yes,  flush off everything which made you say I despise myself.

You have to understand your fears and insecurities when you don t like yourself.

But the more important thing is you need to understand what you love about yourself.

Start liking yourself and eliminate the idea of not liking yourself.

 How ?

You have to write a list of 100 things which you love about yourself.

Now you must be like oh my god hundred I can nearly name 10. But trust me 100 is very less you deserve more. If you cannot come up then make it your next goal. Help people around and write the situation down in detail.

From making someone cross the road till bandaging the wounded animal . . . what ever. Frame that list and put it up on the wall.

Witness that frame while throwing a smile at yourself every morning in the mirror and you know what? It is enough to fall in love with yourself, as you have proved to yourself that you are better than you thought.

Don’t find the opportunity to change rather create an opportunity of confident living.  Ability has nothing to do with opportunity, so you must create the path yourself.

Warning:

Are you thinking that my ideas are stupid? Shush that thought as once you implement them you will build boost in self power.

You will understand the basic principle of life that how to make yourself feel full. There is no accomplishment  in  being sane. You have to search for insane ways and make your way up to where the sky is the limit.

The best thing about insane Idiots is:

They don’t think of the consequences and own fear of anything. That’s what I want you to become. Sometime. Someday

Hunt Around The Town [One of confidence building exercises]

First of all, you have to click a picture of any pet or be it your own and print it out. Then all you have to do is hunt Around The Town for that being in the picture. The best solution to social anxiety!

Go crazy and ask people that have they ever seen that little pup around littering the space!

 Make crazy stories about you and your puppy and go around the town sharing that.

This activity can be done for just 30 minutes or a whole night. Grab your best friend who could go with you and click your video for the milestone.

What this will do to you?

Great question  . . .

It will solve your problem of avoidance. You tell me on how many parties you have actually avoided people and the conversation at the moment.

You have always avoided the interactions. Why? Because they sound very difficult and unpleasant to you.

But with this crazy yet cool act, you are managing your anxiety of avoiding people, this is how to overcome shyness.  As you are throwing yourself into a scenario.

If you really want to get rid of lacking confidence then you need to break the habit of avoiding people.  Fear of the people will not spare your soul.

You will be regaining confidence and feel relief once you make this intentional encounter of people. You can randomly ask a stranger about your lost puppy by making stories of your lost love.

The strangers will surely show concern. You know what? you will then drill the idea that people are not bad.

So you need to open up a little and begin the strings of conversation. The best part is that they won’t judge you as they are complete strangers.

All the feeling of lacked confidence or being uncomfortable when around people will fade away.

So practice this insanity anywhere anytime but please do. You will not only overcome shyness.

But you will feel energetic as it will teach you how to be more talkative. You will be beating anxiety, all excited while having fun in the process.]

Learn to get angry [when it’s just right]

Yes, you need to learn how to overcome shyness by showing anger to others. Sometimes politeness better says, “over politeness” can become the cause of your shyness.

So you need to let go growing up shy and surface your anger in front of anyone who has ever hurt you.  If you experience the feelings of inadequacy then show it.

Confrontation is very important that is how to regain confidence. After the confrontation, you can try having lunch with someone who annoyed you in past.

Let that person see that there is something different in new. . . something has surely changed.

Let that person wonder: How that tamed individual got guts to first confront and then invite me to dinner?

You have to overcome your shyness in this way. The answer to your how to improve yourself.

 

Only three things for now … IMPLEMENT AND RECORD.

You will surely ditch your shyness. What next? Well, you love when people loves you right? 

You can increase the love you accumulate by knowing the secrets of how to talk to talk to anyone. 

 

TELL ME WHAT DO YOU PLAN?

 Your time starts now 1 2 3 go!

 

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